Thursday, January 20, 2011

Bally Springboks

I went to watch a show at the Royal Opera House Yesterday. It's called Giselle. I have to admit that I didn't know much about this story, and so I figured I would just go along and find out what it is all about! Those of you who thought I was going to talk about Rugby, Gotcha - No, this is a ballet, that is a style of dance. Ballet is a bit like watching an old Chinese Kung-Fu movie - without subtitles in English - you have to suss it out from what the people do on stage. 

Now I don't know the story of Giselle, but this is what I worked out from what I saw yesterday. It gets a bit confusing so you need to read carefully.

There is this chick called Giselle - I think that's French for Gazelle - you know, like a springbok - geez - she could jump like a Springbok - I reckon she could make a pretty hot hurdler! Maybe even clear the fences in the Grand Nation. Any way there are these two guys, Albrecht & Hilarion, who both like this chick, if you get my drift. Giselle, or "Springy" as I like to call her, has the hots for Albrecht. Who can take an oke called Hilarion seriously, now I ask you? Problem is that while Springy is a peasant, Albrecht is a toffee nose. (Shame it's not his fault - don't laugh at him - he didn't choose his parents). Hilarion is a forester - which is like saying he's the garden boy - only it is not a garden it's a forest.  Poor Albie has to marry this chick who is well-loaded, but looks like the back end of a bus. Anyways - he decides that there is nothing stopping him and Springy having a fling, and is hanging around Springy's house to "catch her eye." Hilarion rocks up just as they are having a kiss and a cuddle, and is lank jealous. He knows how to fix Toffee-Nose for stealing "his chick" - it never crossed his mind that Springy might not be interested in him - and he blows the whistle on them - well not a whistle but a hunter's horn - and who should rock up but Albie's boss, and Bathilde - Albie's boss's daughter and the one who looks like the back end of a bus. Yep big trouble now. OOh yikes - big indaba here! Tempers fly and the okes start fighting each other. Springy makes it clear she wants to be with Albie, but her ma doesn't like that idea and tells her to go inside right away. She refuses and in all the snot & trane (a South African expression meaning highly emotional) she kills herself - and so ends the first half. Now as you can imagine I am left scratching my head. How the heck to they sort this one out - to be honest I don't know if they do "sort it out" - but its end of the first half and the main character is pushing up daisies - or almost. 

The second half starts and Albie is by a grave. His beloved is now dead and he has to marry "Back-end-of-a-bus" Bathilde - talk about a double whammy! There he is crying his eyes out like he had just sliced a pocket of onions - and he sees - he thinks this white thing. What the hell was that, he wonders. He runs around - trying to see what it is that he saw. Well, I bet you are ahead of me here - It's a graveyard - so what do you see in graveyards (if see is the right word?) - but spooks! These spooks according to the programme were called Wilis - I think they meant willies, but I couldn't work that out as they were all wearing dresses, and so I figured they didn't have willies. There was a Queen - now I don't think it was a female impersonator - like Widow Twanky in Aladin, so not a queen in that sense, but a kind of queen that wears a crown and takes command. Anyway, Hilarion, came to mourn his beloved Giselle and he met up with the Willies and it must have given him the Willies - sheez, these spooks are seriously scary. They float around the stage but this guy was trying to get away from them. But they just ambush him on the other path. They were like a ghost commando. Well Hilarion is despatched and doesn't reappear - I didn't know what happened to them. But back to Albie, He sees this ghost, and knock me down with a feather, it's Springy - and she's in front of Albie, and they kind of pick up where they left off before hand - even though this time she is dead - now that's a bit weird if you ask me. He lifts her up - not that hard, given that she doesn't weigh anything, and everything is very happy for a while until the Willies arrive - they have come to recruit Springy - but she is not keen. Albie tries to talk to the queen, but she is like "Talk to the Hand" - Eventually the sun rises and as you know, spooks don't dig the sunlight - and so they all gap it, and Springy - well - she goes back to her grave and can rest. 

I hope you enjoyed my retelling of the story of GISELLE - and if you REALLY want to know what happened! Look at this link. 


Carla said...

Dit is 'n lekker interpretasie!

John Blog said...

Dankie Carla,

Ek is bly dat jy dit geniet het!